Insights: Sober House Rules: What Real Homes Require and What Is Not Allowed

Sober House Rules: What Real Homes Require and What Is Not Allowed

By Sober House Directory · Published September 28, 2026 · Last updated September 28, 2026

Every sober house has the same first rule: no alcohol and no drugs, in the house or anywhere else. After that, rules vary a lot from home to home. The common ones are weekly house meetings, random drug and alcohol testing, assigned chores, a curfew, paying rent on time and a work or school requirement.

This page doesn't guess at what's typical. The Sober House Directory tracks 12,947 live listings, and we counted which rules homes actually put in writing. Pennsylvania is a good example: its more than 500 independent sober homes include many that describe their rules in detail.

How We Counted

We read the descriptions of the 8,154 listings that are not Oxford Houses and flagged the ones that state a specific rule as a fact about the home, not as a question to ask. 1,938 listings clear that bar. The percentages below are shares of those 1,938. Oxford Houses are counted separately, because they all use the same short set of rules.

Many homes have rules they don't publish, so treat these numbers as a floor, not a ceiling.

The Rules Homes Publish Most Often

• Weekly house meetings: 54%
• Drug or alcohol testing: 27%
• Assigned chores: 24%
• Curfew: 18%
• Work, school or volunteering required: 15%
• Required recovery meetings (AA, NA or similar): 11%

A home that publishes rules lists 1.5 of these on average, so most homes that publish anything only mention one or two.

House Meetings

This is the most common published rule, and it's what makes a sober home a household instead of a rooming house. Residents meet weekly to deal with chores, bills, conflicts and new arrivals. Missing house meetings is one of the usual reasons for a warning.

Drug and Alcohol Testing

27% of rule-publishing homes mention testing, usually random urine screens and breathalyzers. Some test everyone on a schedule and some test when there's reason to. A refused test is usually treated as a positive one.

Chores

Nearly one in four homes mention assigned chores. They usually rotate, and they're checked at the house meeting.

Curfew

18% of homes mention a curfew. Where a listing gives a time, 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. are the most common. Several homes relax curfew as a resident builds time. A few run a stricter first-month phase, often 30 days, with limited passes or visitors.

Work, School or Volunteering

15% of homes that publish rules require you to be doing something during the day. Where a listing names a number, 20 hours a week is the most common threshold, followed by 30 and 25. Some homes set a deadline to find work, usually two weeks to 45 days after move-in, and most residents hold a job while living in a sober house whether or not the rule is written down.

Recovery Meetings

11% of homes require outside meetings such as AA, NA or SMART Recovery. Among listings that give a number, three meetings a week is the most common requirement, followed by four.

What Is Not Allowed

Listings rarely spell these out, but they appear in almost every written resident agreement and in state certification standards:

• Alcohol and drugs, including in your system. Many homes also ban alcohol-based products such as some mouthwashes, and anything that could cause a positive test.
• Violence, threats and weapons. Grounds for immediate discharge nearly everywhere.
• Theft, including taking other residents' food.
• Overnight guests without approval, and guests of the gender the house doesn't serve in bedrooms.
• Sexual relationships between residents.
• Unexcused absence overnight, outside a pass system.
• Unpaid rent beyond the grace period the house allows.

Operators write these rules to protect the household, and well-run homes pair their house rules in sober houses with written resident rights.

Medication: What's Allowed

Prescribed medication is a common worry, especially medication for opioid use disorder. The directory's data is clear. Among the 812 non-Oxford listings that state a medication-assisted treatment policy, 696, or 86%, say they accept residents on MAT such as buprenorphine, methadone or naltrexone. Federal guidance on the ADA and opioid use disorder treats refusing someone because of legally prescribed medication as potential disability discrimination.

Expect a home to ask you to keep medication locked and to take it as prescribed. Some homes count pills.

Oxford House Rules

Oxford Houses make up 4,793 of the directory's listings. They share three rules: stay sober, pay an equal share of household expenses and avoid disruptive behavior. Residents enforce them by vote, and a resident who drinks or uses is asked to leave. Everything else, including chores, guests and quiet hours, is decided by each house, which is part of what makes Oxford Houses in the directory different from staffed homes.

What Happens if You Break a Rule

Most homes use steps: a warning, then a contract or extra duties, then discharge. Use of alcohol or drugs is different. Most homes discharge for it, though some move the resident to a higher level of care or offer a return after treatment. Ask before you move in, and get the relapse policy in writing.

Rules and Certification

Certified homes have to write their rules down and give them to residents before move-in. That is one practical reason to prefer a certified home. Across the directory, 44% of non-Oxford listings are certified, and the rate runs from over 90% in Ohio, Utah, Virginia and West Virginia to none in New York. Utah's 158 certified homes show what a nearly fully certified state looks like.

Questions to Ask About the Rules

1. Can I see the house rules and the resident agreement before I move in?
2. How and how often do you test?
3. Is there a curfew, and does it change over time?
4. Do I need a job, school or volunteer work, and by when?
5. Are meetings required, and which kinds count?
6. What is your policy on prescribed medication?
7. What happens after a relapse?

Frequently Asked Questions

Are Sober House Rules the Same Everywhere?

No. Only the ban on alcohol and drugs is universal. Everything else is set by the operator, or by the residents in an Oxford House, within whatever standards the state's certification program sets.

Can You Have Visitors in a Sober House?

Usually yes, in common areas and during set hours. Overnight guests are rarely allowed.

Can You Have a Car in Sober Living?

Usually yes. About one in five non-Oxford listings mention parking. Many homes are chosen for being near a bus line so a car isn't necessary.

Do Sober Houses Allow Smoking?

Many allow smoking outside only, away from doors. Very few listings mention smoking at all, so ask.

Finding a Home Whose Rules Fit

The best time to test a home's rules is before you sign anything. Pick two or three certified sober homes near you, call them, and ask each one the seven questions above so you can compare their answers side by side.

Research & Sources

• U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division. (2022). The ADA and opioid use disorder: Combating discrimination against people in treatment or recovery. https://www.ada.gov/resources/opioid-use-disorder/